My Roommate is a Detective Radio Play Part 1/2

[serenityreview]

 Here's my rough translation of the My Roommate is a Detective Radio Play. This is part 1. 

Fun fact: The title of this play is 民国奇探-泡沫之下 (My Roommate is a Detective - Under the Foam). 泡沫之下 sounds like 泡沫之夏, which is a popular book series/TV show. 

Link to the Radio Drama is here. 

Woman: *crying* The little mermaid didn’t receive the prince’s love and turned into seafoam. 

 

Lu Yao: *answering the phone* Inspector Qiao, why are you calling me so early in the morning? What happened now? I’m sleep deprived. Do you know the consequences of sleep deprivation? Low blood sugar. Low blood sugar will cause stress, anxiety, anger, dizziness - 

 

Qiao Chusheng: There’s a death at Sinan apartments, Mr. Bai owns the building. 

 

Lu Yao: Inspector Qiao, today is Sunday! The weekend! People go to church today! No one goes to work! 

 

Qiao Chusheng: I’ll give you additional 10 silver dollars, drag it out and I’ll lower the price.

 

Lu Yao: I’ll be right there!

 

Narrator: *announces the title of the radio play & the people behind it*

 

Lu Yao: I want two youtiao. (fried dough sticks) 

 

Street Vender: Okay.

 

Lu Yao: And I want a cup of soymilk, with sugar.

 

Street Vender: Okay, okay. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: *whistles* Lu Yao! Get in the car!

 

Lu Yao: I’m not done eating!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Let’s go!

 

Street Vender: Wait! You haven’t paid yet!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Here, I’ll pay.

 

*At the crime scene, there’s a crowd outside*

 

Lu Yao: Everyone move aside! The inspector is here! 

 

Adou: Hello.

 

*Lu Yao slips and falls when he steps into the room.*

 

Qiao Chusheng: Be careful.

 

Adou: The room was flooded when we got here. The water is very soapy. I nearly tripped. Inspector, Mr. Lu, tie some cloth on your shoes before stepping in. 

 

Lily: Inspector, already said that I don’t know anything. I still have plans for today. When can I leave?

 

Lu Yao: Who’s that woman? She looks awful.

 

Adou: She’s the one who reported the body. Her name is Lily. She’s a dancer. She’s the dead’s coworker and neighbour. She said when she got home she saw water flowing from the door and knocked on the door. No one answered so she thought no one was home. She was afraid that the water was going to flood the whole floor, so she knocked the door open to the taps off, only to find a corpse.

 

Lu Yao: She knocked the door open? By herself?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Take a look at the crime scene first. 

 

Lu Yao: *thinking* The body is in the bathtub, there’s soap bubbles everywhere. Only her face is visible and her makeup is well done. It’s a pretty sight, like a painting. 

 

Lu Yao: Argh! How much soap did they use? There’s still bubbles everywhere, no wonder the whole room is flooded.

 

Qiao Chusheng: Lucy?

 

Lu Yao: You know her?

 

Qiao Chusheng: I’ve seen her a couple of times.

 

Lu Yao: One of your girls? Tell me what you know about her.

 

Qiao Chusheng: Lucy, she’s a dancer at Balemen. Her real name is Wen Ting. Her father is a gambler, used up all his savings. So she had to work to repay her father’s gambling debts. 

 

Lu Yao: *thinking* The lipstick tube… is slippery? 

 

Lu Yao: There’s an empty bottle of sleeping pills next to the tub. The windows and door are all locked. There aren't any suspicious signs around the room. It’s either a locked room mystery or suicide. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: She wouldn’t commit suicide. 

 

Lu Yao: Oh, so you know her well?

 

Qiao Chusheng: This woman is tough. Her father is a gambling addict, which is like having a blackhole. Even so, she’s still paying off his debts. She wouldn’t commit suicide. 

 

Lu Yao: You feel sorry for her? Why didn’t you help her?

 

Qiao Chusheng: She’s very strong. There wasn’t much I could help her with. Her job at Balemen lets her make more money, it’s not a bad thing.

 

Lu Yao: So you helped her?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Take the body to the station and send someone to the casino to inform her father. 

 

Lily: Qiao Chusheng, when can I leave? 

 

Qiao Chusheng: What are you doing? I’m working right now. 

 

Lu Yao: So you know her too?

 

Lily: And you are?

 

Lu Yao: I’m Lu Yao. I work as a case consultant.

 

Lily: Ah. Inspector Qiao. I already told you I don’t know anything. I have plans for today. When can I leave?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Talk properly. 

 

Lu Yao: *sneezes*

 

Qiao Chusheng: Are you okay?

 

Lu Yao: *thinks* Did she put on a whole bottle of perfume?

 

Lu Yao: I’m fine.

 

QIao Chusheng: Since she’s here, ask her some questions.

 

Lu Yao: You are Lucy’s coworker? What kind of person was she?

Lily: She’s stupid. She’s a dancer at Balemen but doesn’t want to accompany (ie. sleep with) guests. Who was she acting so pure for? And the funniest thing is that she did it anyway, in the end. Women of the night in Shanghai all do it, eventually. Who knows what she was trying to do earlier. Can I leave now? I have a date at the movies tonight. 

 

Lu Yao: Okay, just let Adou write a transcript for you. 

 

Lily: Thank you.

 

Qiao Chusheng: Why did you?

 

Lu Yao: She’s fine. What kind of stupid murder would hang around the scene of the crime? Let’s go back to the station. 

 

*back at the station, Lu Yao is asleep* 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Wake up. The autopsy report is out! 

 

Lu Yao: What’s the result?

 

Qiao Chusheng: She overdosed on sleeping pills. Time of death is between 7pm to 9 pm yesterday. That time period is when Balemen is the busiest. 

 

Lu Yao: Then it’s a suicide. She has scars on her wrists, meaning she was suicidal. The case is solved, where’s my pay?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Isn’t there any other possibilities? I know Lucy, she wouldn't commit suicide. 

 

Lu Yao: Bro, her sleeping pills were right next to her. There’s no signs of struggle and no sign of anyone entering the room. What else is there besides suicide?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Then her whole body should be submerged in the bathtub, but what we saw was that her head was above water near the side of the tub. She was surrounded by soap foam, she can’t do that herself.

 

Lu Yao: Someone did enter after the fact. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Her neighbour, Lily?

 

Lu Yao: Her clothes were soaked and her hair was a mess. She probably slipped and fell when she got through the door. She found Lucy dead in the tub and pulled her up and did her makeup. She wiped her hands with tissues but the slipperiness of soap can only be washed away by water. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Why did she do all that?

 

Lu Yao: How should I know? Inspector Qiao, even though it’s a suicide, you still have to pay me!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Lu Yao, let’s make a bet.

 

Lu Yao: What kind of bet? I won’t do it, the case is done. Give me 30 dollars! 

 

Qiao Chusheng: I bet this isn’t a suicide. Let’s continue the investigation, if I’m right you have to solve 3 cases for free. If you win, in addition to the 30 dollar -

 

Lu Yao: And then what?

 

Qiao Chusheng: I’ll double your consultant fees. 

 

Lu Yao: Stingy. Inspector Qiao, if you don’t pay me then I’m going back home to catch up on sleep. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Bai Youning is over at the next town doing an interview, there’s an auction happening over there right now. 

 

Lu Yao: Okay! I’ll make the bet! I’m not picky! I want the most expensive item!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Deal! Where should we go now?

 

Lu Yao: Is her father here yet?

 

Qiao Chusheng: He just got here.

 

Lu Yao: Let’s go see him.

 

Wen Zheng: *crying* Wen Ting! My daughter! How can you leave your father behind! Without you I don’t want to go on!

 

Lu Yao: That’s her father?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Uh-huh.

 

Wen Zheng: *crying* Impossible! How can you leave me behind!

 

Lu Yao: He looks gentle but…

 

Qiao Chusheng: I hear he used to be a teacher. 

 

Lu Yao: Ah! A scholarly family. A scholarly family that forced their daughter to be dancer to pay off gambling debts. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Do you have any questions for him?

 

Lu Yao: You want to prove it to be a murder? You go ask him yourself.

 

Qiao Chusheng: You! Fine, I’ll ask.

 

Lu Yao: I’ll cheer for you! Inspector Qiao.

 

Qiao Chusheng: You are Wen Zheng.

 

Wen Zheng: Yes. My daughter couldn’t have committed suicide! She’s been doing fine! She wouldn’t do something like this! It must be Zhou Zirong! That bastard! 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Who’s Zhou Zirong?

 

Wen Zheng: Wen Ting’s boyfriend. I heard that he’s a rich tea merchant, but I’ve never met him. I only heard my daughter mention him, she said he’s a good man. But he - he -

 

Qiao Chusheng: What did he do?

 

Wen Zhang: He borrowed money from Wen Ting!

 

Lu Yao: What did you say?

 

Wen Zhang: He used her money! Rich merchant, what a lie! What kind of man spends a woman’s money?

 

Lu Yao: I don’t think you have the right to say anything about that. 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Wen Ting.

 

Lu Yao: Let’s go and find this Zhou Zirong.

 

*Lu Yao and Qiao Chusheng are at Zhou Zirong’s place*

 

Qiao Chusheng: Looks like he went on the run.

 

Lu Yao: What is this smell? Perfume and hair conditioner from Paris. Lucy’s boyfriend liked to keep up appearances.

 

Qiao Chusheng: Her name is Wen Ting. The room is a mess, looks like he just left. 

 

Lu Yao: Look at all these makeup bottles, looks like he knows a lot of women. Yo, there’s an apple here. *eats apple*

 

Qiao Chusheng: He must know something. He must have run after hearing about Lucy’s death. I’ll get Salim to search for places he might have run to. 

 

Lu Yao: Wait! There’s so many good things here! 

 

Qiao Chusheng: He must’ve taken all the expensive things with him. There isn’t anything left for you to grab. Let’s go.

 

Lu Yao: I’m not that shallow! I’m looking for clues! 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Let’s go!

 

*Lu Yao and Qiao Chusheng leaves*

 

Zhou Zirong: They finally left. I can’t believe he took my osmanthus essential oil! 

 

*Zhou Zirong answers the ringing phone*

 

Woman: Darling.

 

Zhou Zirong: Sweetheart! Did you decide on what we should do tonight?

 

Woman: I want to go see a movie.

 

Zhou Zirong: Alright, no problem. There’s a new Hollywood move out. 

 

Woman: Great!

 

Lu Yao: Mr. Zhou is so chic! Which new movie is it? I’m also interested in movies, how about we have a talk? What do you think? Inspector Qiao.

 

Zhou Zirong: Inspector?

 

Qiao Chusheng: You are Zhou Zirong?

 

*Zhou Zirong throws stuff off of the table and attempts to flee. Something hits Lu Yao*

 

Qiao Chusheng: Lu Yao, are you alright?

 

Lu Yao: I’m okay.

 

Qiao Chusheng: Trying to run? 

 

*Qiao Chusheng throws a cup at Zhou Zirong, causing him to fall.*

 

Qiao Chusheng: Still gonna run?

 

Zhou Zirong: No! No! Have mercy! Have mercy!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Take him back to the station.

 

Lu Yao: That was impressive!

 

Qiao Chusheng: You should be more careful, next time remember to hide behind me.

 

Lu Yao: Will do. Let’s go back to the station. Let’s solve this one fast.

 

*Back at the station*

 

Zhou Zirong: How did you two know I was still inside? 

 

Lu Yao: That’s simple, you live in a Haussman style building. This kind of building usually have a balcony on the second floor and you live on the second floor, plus there’s a bottle that’s not properly capped on the table.

 

Qiao Chusheng: You want to tell us now or after we use interrogation tools?

 

Zhou Zirong: Wait! Wait! What do you guys want from me? I have nothing to do with Lucy’s death! I’m innocent!

 

Lu Yao: Just use the tools! Let’s go fast.

 

Zhou Zirong: I -

 

Adou: Inspector, Lucy’s father is still at the station, he refuses to leave. He wants to meet the bastard that killed his daughter. 

 

Zhou Zirong: I didn’t kill her!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Then why did you run?

 

Zhou Zirong: I won’t see him! I’m not the murderer! I have the right to refuse! 

 

Qiao Chusheng: Bring him here. 

 

Zhou Zirong: No! I refuse! I won’t see him!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Keep doing that and I’ll make sure you won’t be able to move for the rest of your life. 

 

Zhou Zirong: Inspector! I don’t want - 

 

*Qiao Chusheng slams the table, Zhou Zirong goes quiet*

 

Lu Yao: You scared me.

 

Qiao Chusheng: Sorry, I didn’t mean to.

 

Wen Zheng: You bastard! You killed my daughter! Give me back my daughter! I’m gonna kill you! Wait! It’s you!

 

Lu Yao: Oh! So you two know each other!

 

Wen Zheng: Chen Asi! It’s you!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Care to explain yourself, Zhou Zirong?

 

Wen Zheng: Zhou Zirong? Inspector! He’s Chen Asi! Did you get the wrong person?

 

Lu Yao: You have two identities? Impressive!

 

Wen Zheng: He’s just a thug! I’ve seen him hanging around the casino! No wonder! You caused her death! 

 

Zhou Zirong: No! I didn’t!

 

Wen Zheng: Inspector! You have to take him in! He murdered my daughter! My daughter must have seen through his lies and he killed her! 

 

Zhou Zirong: I’m not stupid! I just wanted her money! Why would I kill her?

 

Wen Zheng: Then he killed my daughter for her money!

 

Zhou Zirong: No way! That woman can barely afford food! What money can I get from her?

 

Lu Yao: Yes, Lucy is very poor but you can live in a fancy apartment and wear bespoke suits, from street thug to rich merchant, you did well for yourself. How did you do it? Can you teach me?

 

Qiao Chusheng: Mr. Wen, please wait outside. We need to talk with this… Chen Asi first. 

 

Wen Zheng: Inspector! You must bring him to justice! For my daughter! 

 

Adou: This way sir. *escorts Wen Zheng out of the room*

 

Zhou Zirong: Inspector! Please believe me! I’m innocent! 

 

Lu Yao: If you want to talk just talk! Don’t move around so much!

 

Qiao Chusheng: Then let’s talk about how you got close to Wen Ting.

 

Zhou Zirong: Um…

 

Qiao Chusheng: Talk!

 

Zhou Zirong: Okay! I’ll talk! I met her father outside of the casino…

 

End of Part One.